Arachnophobia, Ants, Anarchy….and Allergies

 Arachnophobia, Ants, Anarchy….and Allergies

Ok. I never meant for this much time to pass in between blog posts. But…as you can tell by my title, things have been slightly chaotic (interesting) around here. Just a little.

 I have many DIY projects on the horizon. I do. But first, I have to survive the rest of this week……

 I have a phobia about spiders =Arachnophobia….  especially the kind that decide to take up residence this time of year, inside my house. For some reason, I see one and suddenly, in my mind, they are everywhere. They are waiting for me, ready to launch, eat me, kill me. Doing dishes and a bubble lands on my arm? It’s an imaginary spider…causing me to scream, jump, flail and attack the offending soap-bubble. In the shower, I am alert at all times. A stray hair floats across my arm, air raid sirens escape my lungs…more flailing. Corners, all corners, are the enemy.

So, it is amazing that, with all of the above given as a reference, that I still have an eyeball.

I was attempting to put makeup on. Innocent. In my own space (a makeup room off my master…more on that room in the future.) I was nearing the end of this ritual, mascara wand in hand. Out of the corner of my eye ( remember, I am on Red Alert at ALL times), I see something move. Fear washes over me…goosebumps dance on my skin, and I know I am not alone. My eyes dart toward the source of movement, and it’s over. There, maybe a foot from my elbow, is a tarantula. Interjection–> the word tarantula is arguable by entomologists, I am sure…but this is my blog, my story. Yes. I live in NW Indiana, and I am aware that unless one is a pet (as if) it is unlikely to be a real tarantula.

But…you were not there.

I am not sure the sequence of my body movements, I just know that while mascara wand was still in hand ( and very near to my eyeball) a burst of hysteria and battle began. Me against the creature…my weapon> mascara wand. I wont bore you with the remaining details…as I am certain you will be able to tell who the victor was, since I am the one writing this blog. Further, we will not discuss the ironic permanence of mascara (waterproof kind) on the skin, inside of the cornea, walls….yeah. We will also not discuss my injury….self inflicted. Just call me one-eyed Willie from here on out.

Let us also take note that during this time of year, massive, gross and largely similar to spiders ( to me) – carpenter ants like to invade my surroundings. They are hideous creatures. Stomping, licking, uniting en masses all over every cool surface in my kitchen. Why? Does my bleach habit not offend? Are they immune to my ant traps and Pinterest inspired poisons?

 It’s me. I have lost. I am overrun. No longer the leader in my own domain…..a complete state of anarchy.

I have lost sleep, for fear of being eaten, nibbled, caressed by things I did NOT invite into my bed. I am not safe…anywhere. My home, my car, outdoors. The army of creatures/Mother Nature is winning. And the cherry on top? My endless sneezing, watery eyes and Snuffle-up-a-gus nose has weakened my resolve. I am allergic to everything this time of year.

It’s a conspiracy.

While I am stoned and lethargic from the effects of powerful allergy meds, I am powerless…weak…slow, and they all know it. The joke is on me.

NEXT TIME on My Fairyality….

I plan on posting my ( although allergy medicine refined) excitement over the arrival of the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks!!! This means, formally…for me….that FALL HAS ARRIVED! ( who cares that as I type this it is a disgusting 92 degrees outside with 100% humidity!?? WHO CARES!!) THE PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE IS HERE AND WE MUST CELEBRATE!!!

I have decorated completely for Fall…including breaking out my fall village collection. ( Think Christmas Village- only fall themed)

Stay tuned…..We will take a tour of my insanity.

Happy Monday Everyone!!!

Heather

Comments

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